mandag den 30. november 2009

Castle Age - Tips 1

This is a new and quite interesting game with some new twists for the menu based Facebook game platform. The use of the page is a little too overdone with some very interesting graphics. Seems a lot of the game characters are female and they suffer from arthritis. The game designer(s) know what sells so that is smart. The game ringleader, Celesta and a bonus player, Savannah suffer from this malady. Celesta is in fact well-healed.
You will need to save a lot of gold to buy all the different stuff in the game. The variety is a welcome change from short lists that some games provide. The player has a lot of options available which makes for a more interesting game.
Here are some key highlights.

Heroes

They become Generals and you decide which one is active for quests. You should attempt to match the general for the specific quest to open up bonus quests when you have enough energy and the correct troops. Each general supports 5 players so you must have more than one hero. The smart design here is that you are allowed to purchase only one of each and you must meet the 5 level requirement (or partial) to utilize each general.

Duel

Under Battle, you have an option to duel with leader of another army. In order to be successful at this, you need to have the strongest hero available to you and one of each of the best items from the Smith or won in quests. Most players choose to buy Dragons, Phoenix or better troops and forget about this feature so they leave themselves vulnerable to this attack. You can be successful with duels with armies much larger than yours because it is only a one-on-one battle between leaders.

General Game Decisions

Like many of the other menu based games, you have to develop a cash flow to pay for upgrades, so you need to balance between upgrading troops and weaponry while growing your land ownership to generate revenue. Battling and quests are important and you must watch your levels and visit Celesta to heal on a regular basis.
Like most games, a strategy of quality over quantity, is usually more successful. Players with large numbers are only as strong as the protective gear that supports them, so you need to find players with gold and with poor protection. Obviously, your strategy is to protect your players and arm them with the best weaponry as much as possible. You can’t stay small because the 5-player/general feature increases your strength.

Adding players

This game works much the same as all the others in that you can invite directly through the game. Adding them too quickly will make it more difficult to equip them properly so possibly 5-10 at a time is a good approach since not everyone will respond.
Go to your list of regulars that play other games. This game will grow quickly because it seems to be very popular and offers a very strong alternative to the other options out there.
If you are enjoying the game, don’t forget to visit the Oracle and make a contribution to the game developers’ fund to buy favor points. That is how good games grow. You can also take part in the third party offerings for favor points. I choose not to because it generates a lot of spam emails through these offers.
Castle Age is a refreshing addition to the world of Facebook menu based games and looks like it is going to do very well. Welcome aboard.

torsdag den 26. november 2009

Great optical illusion.

David L’Heureux found this animated Gif online, and decided to share it with us. As the logic of the flowing object below is more than my mind can comprehend, I have to make a reference to the 4D Hypercube we talked about years ago.
Even though the animation below doesn’t need to be impossible at all, I decided to share it with you cause of it’s awesomeness. I want to say clearly, I’m aware we can’t show 4th dimension in our 3-dimensional space, but this is the closest I can explain 4th dimension to you in plain words:
Imagine you lived in a 1-dimensional space, and wanted to steal money from me. You could only move forward and backward on a straight line. Preventing you to steal from my safe would easily be done, just by placing a single dot (barrier) on the line between you and my safe.
In a 2D environment, imagine you lived in old Nintendo’s Super Mario world, and could move in all directions, except further and closer from the monitor’s surface. What is in front and behind the monitor would be unimaginable to you. Preventing you to steal from my safe would easily be done just by drawing a rectangle around my safe. Diverting over the rectangle would be impossible for you, since you couldn’t comprehend the 3rd dimension.

Now the person from 3rd dimension would easily pick up the content from the rectangle, leaving no damage to the rectangle barrier, since he wouldn’t even need to touch it. In a 3 dimensional world (our own), I would prevent you from stealing my safe, by placing it in a sealed box. You couldn’t open it from each of the 6 sides. But if an intruder came to my house, from a 4th dimension… now this is the tricky part to understand…. he would easily take the content out of the safe, without even needing to open it, nor would he touch it. Thus, resulting in undamaged safe, and missing content inside of it.
If you’re interested more in calculating the 4th dimension space, here is a good starting point.
greatestgifever

tirsdag den 24. november 2009

Urinalysis

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

fredag den 20. november 2009

Joe Gets an Operation

Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches..."

"The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman,"I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job," the salesman said.

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said,"Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see...34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck"

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"tIt's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half... wide."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

&quotIt's my job."

Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked,"tHow about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure.." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Top 10 Most Deadly Animals


- Published July 13, 2007


This is a list of the 10 most deadly animals found on land and in water. While some may seem innocuous – especially number 1, they lead to millions of deaths every year. From least, to worst, the list:


10. Poison Dart Frog
The backs of the poison dart frog ooze a slimy neurotoxin that is meant to keep predators away. Each frog produces enough of the toxin to kill 10 humans, though, strangely, in captivity, the frogs do not secrete this poison. The frogs are brilliantly coloured and live mainly in Central and South America. [Wikipedia Article]

9. Cape Buffalo
Cape buffalos weigh 1.5 tons and, when faced by danger, attack head on with razor sharp horns. They stand up to 1.7 metres high and 2.8 metres long. Humans are virtually its only predator and even lions will avoid crossing their path. Every year the Cape Buffalo is known to maul and kill multiple humans; some believe that it kills more humans in Africa every year than any other creature. [Wikipedia Article]

8. Polar Bear
These massive creatures, native to the Arctic, regularly eat elephant seals and could cut off a human head with one swipe of its paw. The Polar Bear is the most carnivorous of all the Bears and will eat walruses, whales, rheindeer, and even other polar beers. [Wikipeida Article]

7. Elephant
African Elephants, with their sharp tusks, are not as friendly as many believe. They kill over 500 people per year (either by stomping or impaling). The African Elephant generally weighs in at 16 tons. [Wikipedia Article]

6. Saltwater Crocodile
This is the largest of all living reptiles and is found mainly in Northern Australia and Southeast Asia. A healthy adult is typically 4.8 – 7 metres (15.75ft – 21ft) long, weighing up to 1.6 tons. There have been reports of larger. This creature is capable of killing and eating animals up tot he size of a water buffalo. In its most deadly attack (called the Death Roll) the crocodile grabs an animal or human with its mouth and begins to roll. A 1ton stallion is known to have been killed by this method in under 1 minute. In the water, the crocodile can move as fast as a dolphin. [Wikipedia Article]

5. African Lion
The African Lion can reach up to half a ton. Lions are thought to kill up to 70 humans per year in Tanzania. These large animals are eclipsed in size only slightly by the tiger. [Wikipedia Article]

4. Great White Shark
This shark is an exceptionally large shark found in coastal waters in all major oceans. It can reach lengths of up to 6 metres and can weigh up to 5 tons. The Great White Shark is the worlds largest known predatory fish. It is the only surviving species of its genus. In general these creatures do not attack humans, and (while there have been some fatalities) the majority of attacks on humans are believed to be test bites – the Great White Shark are known to test bite other objects in order to determine what they are. More people are killed each year in the US by dogs than Great White Sharks in the last 100 years. [Wikipedia Article]

3. Box Jellyfish
Also known as the wasp jellyfish, this salad-bowl sized jellyfish can have up to 60 tentacles as long as 15 feet. Each tentacle has enough toxin to kill 50 humans. They are found in Australia, the Philippines, and many other tropical areas. Since 1884 at least 5,567 deaths have been attributed to these creatures. [Wikipedia Article]

2. Asian Cobra
While the Asian cobra does not have the deadliest venom, it does make the most of what it has, causing the largest chunk of the 50 thousand deaths by snakebite per year. An average cobra is about 1 metre in length. [Wikipedia Article]

1. The Mosquito
Due to malaria carrying parasites transferred by the mosquito, it is responsible for the deaths of more than two million people per year. In addition, Mosquitos are estimated to transfer diseases to more than 70 million people per year. Even in countries such as the UK, New Zealand, and Japan, where the more temperate climate has reduced mosquito bites to mostly an annoyance, they still cause some deaths every year.[Wikipedia Article]

Top 10 bizarre x-ray images

X-RAY IMAGING
X-ray device is undoubtedly one of the most useful inventions of humanity. It helps identify the different diseases and saving lives. However this devices often can see all kind of things. Sometimes X-ray is reliable evidence of human stupidity. In this article we bring you 10 most bizarre X-ray images.

  
10. Unusual toothache



A dentist found the source of the toothache Patrick Lawler
was complaining about on the roof of his mouth: a four-inch
(10-centimeter) nail the construction worker had unknowingly
embedded in his skull six days earlier.

9. Nails in the head

x-ray nails

A nail gun shot six nails into construction worker Isidro Mejia's
head during an April 2004 accident. He not only survived but was
expected at the time to recover fully.

8. Bulb in colon



Doctors in Pakistan removed a whole lightbulb from a prisoner's
anus June 28. The man said he awoke with the problem, but
doctors weren't sure.

7. Battery, spring, ...



X-rays from Central Prison in Raleigh, N.C., show items such as
bed springs and batteries that prisoners swallowed to gain trips
to outside hospitals.

6. Keys and forks

x-ray fork


How can someone accidentally eat key or forks??

5. Dog that eat knives



4. Python who eat electrical blanket



Python Gulps Down Queen-Size Electric Blanket. It took surgery to save
a 12-foot Burmese python after it swallowed an entire queen-size
electric blanket - with the electrical cord and control box.
Veterinarians Karsten Fostvedt, above, and Barry Rathfon performed
the two-hour operation.

3. Aline inside duck

x-ray alien

An alien face seems to appear in the X-ray of a duck, which died
in May from injuries it had when found.

2. Operation succeed, scissors forgotten

x-ray scissors

A An 6-inch pair of surgical scissors appears in the abdomen
of Australian Pat Skinner in April 2004 -- 18 months after
her initial operation.

1. Real or fake boob?



On 2004, dutch actress Georgina Verbaan confounded critics
who doubted the authenticity of her mams by publishing
impressive x-ray profiles of the suspect assets on her website.
The results are conclusive proof that the 25-year-old did not
surgically enhance her jubs in advance of a €200,000 photo
shoot for the December issue of Dutch Playboy.


BONUS:

Hehe, no comment for this x-ray image :)
homer simpson x-ray imaging

10 Most Expensive Things Celebrities get Insure



This countdown of the top ten most expensive things insured by celebrities was created using the ultra-scientific process of Googling stuff.

10 – Gene Simmons’ tongue

gene simmons tongue
Kiss frontman Gene Simmons’ tongue is insured for $1 million. Perhaps he should insure his brain. Simmons speaks English, Hebrew, German, and Hungarian, and used to manage the careers of Liza Minelli and Pee Wee Herman.
Source

9 – Kieth Richards middle finger

kieth richards finger
Keith Richards’ middle finger is insured for $1.6 million. The Rolling Stones guitarist is now of retirement age – 65 – and doesn’t look a day over 90.
source

8 – Heidi Klum’s legs

heidi klum's legs
Heidi Klum’s legs are insured for $2.2 million, with one leg insured for $1,000,000 and the other is insured for $1,200,000 because of a scar on the less expensive leg.
Source

7 – Bruce Springsteen’s voice

bruce springsteen voice
Bruce Springsteen’s voice is insured for $6 million.
Source

6 – Rod Stewarts voice

rod stewart voice
So is Rod Stewart’s voice. So if he wakes up with the silky voice of, say, the late Barry White, he’ll be disappointed, but $6 million richer.
Source

5 – America Ferrera’s smile

america ferrera smile
America Ferrera’s gorgeous smile is insured for $10 million. Turns out, “Ugly Betty” is actually very beautiful.
Source

4 – Jennifer Lopez’s bottom

Jennifer Lopez bottom
Jennifer Lopez can rest easy is she suffers some sort of debilitating butt injury. Hers is insured for $27 million.
Source

3 – Michael Flatley’s legs

micheal flatleys legs
Remember Lord of the Dance? Michael Flatley, a first generation American who grew up in Chicago, headlined that tour, along with subsequent Feet of Flames and Celtic Tiger tours. He plans to open a Las Vegas hotel and casino. Flatley’s legs were insured for $47 million.
Source

2 – David Beckham’s legs

david beckham legs
David Beckham’s high-earning legs and feet are insured for $70 million. The unprecedented policy in Britain is so huge that the costs have been divided among several companies. No one is saying what his total premium is, but the cost over and above his previous policy is reckoned to be in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Source

1 – Mariah Carey’s legs

Mariah Carey legs
And at the top, the legs of soul singer Mariah Carey are insured for an amazing $1 billion. With insured body parts, celebrities are making an investment, but not necessarily in insurance. The buzz generated by the notion that a celebrity’s body parts are worth a fortune can boost a career that’s threatening to stop ascending. It doesn’t just work for celebrities, either. In 2004, a supermarket insured the taste buds of its senior wine buyer for $10 million to generate publicity. The resulting media coverage helped the company’s wine sales increase by 19%.

torsdag den 19. november 2009

Things to do in the elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, &quotHi Greg. How's your day
been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then
scream, &quotThat's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on,
ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to
play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask
them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, &quotDid you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, &quotIt's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, &quotGroup Hug!&quotand then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering, &quotShut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, &quotGot enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, &quotYour one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, &quotI have new socks on&quot.

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passengers, "This is MY personal space"

The perfect job application

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be &quotDo you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

GOOD BAD WORSE

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Worse: Your daughter has them.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse: So are you.

Good: You give the birds and bees speech to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: The postman had the same idea.
Worse: You have to wait.

101 things to do at Walmart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him &quotI need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible &quotsex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, &quotI think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to &quot10&quot.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, &quotHi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, &quotWho BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, &quotWow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move &quotCaution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly &quottest" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, &quot...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell &quothello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, &quotWhy won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, &quotRed Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from &quotMission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a &quotValet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: &quotMarco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. &quotRe-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your &quotMadonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like &quotthe fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying &quotHow could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, &quotNo, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying &quotGood girl, good bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can &quotcatch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. &quothi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. &quothi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, &quotWould you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., &quotDo you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a &quottest drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window &quotthe British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saing &quotI'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying &quotCan I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeadeately say &quotThe clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex)

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended)

97. Grab stickers that say &quotradioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice

99. Puoll out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial

100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

101. Record yourself while having sex, then have it play over and over gain in the middle of a clothes rack.

Top 10 Extreme Forms of Life.

Our lovely blue planet is extraordinary for a number of reasons. The most significant of these reasons, to most of us, is the fact that it is the only place in the universe that we know for certain houses life. But on the thin film of gas and liquid that coats our planet, that life has developed in such a dazzling array of forms that even today, biologists are finding new species on a daily basis. Living things thrive in the blazing sun of arid deserts, in the crushing pressure of deep sea trenches, in the icy wastes of Antarctica, and even within the very stones beneath our feet. The adaptations that allow this versatility have created species with some very extreme features.

10. Blue Whale

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The Blue Whale, known to taxonomists (those biological eggheads who make up complicated scientific names) as Balaenoptera musculus, is a baleen whale that is easily the largest of animal on the planet. Blue whales have been found that measured at up to 109 feet in length and weighing up to 200 tons. This places the blue whale far in the lead for the title of largest animal that has ever lived. No known dinosaurs, outside of a few possible theoretical species, even approach this big boy’s size.

9. Platypus

platypus

While it may not be the biggest, fastest, or most impressive species in the world, the little Australian oddball known as the platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus in geek-speak) is certainly one of the most confusing. The bizarre forces of evolution (which apparently love a good joke) that led to this animal have blessed it with a wide array of characteristics that you’re unlikely to find together outside a biology textbook. As a mammal, it is warm-blooded and furry, but is a monotreme, meaning that it lays eggs for reproduction. It has flat, webbed feet to propel it through the water, a duck-like bill for a snout, and a flat tail resembling that of a beaver. It has sensitive organs on its bill that can detect the electrical signals in the muscles of fish swimming through the water, sharp spurs, which in the males secrete a potent, though non-lethal, venom. That’s right, it’s poisonous, too. Or, rather, venomous. Turns out that there’s a difference.

8. Komodo Dragon

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It’s not enough that the monitor lizard known as Varanus komodoensis, or the Komodo Dragon, can grow 10 feet long and have a weight of over 150 pounds, making them the largest lizard around today. It’s not enough that they are ferocious, rapacious carnivores who, although they generally feed on carrion, can ambush and bring down a water buffalo with their jagged teeth and huge claws. It’s not even enough that their toothy mouths are awash with both venom and a soup of bacteria that almost always causes serious or fatal infection in bite wounds. If all that weren’t enough, the females can lay viable eggs even if there are no males around. I’m just glad they’re only found on a few islands in Indonesia.

7. Ocean Quahog

ocean-quahog

This unassuming little shellfish, arctica islandica, which looks much like a clam and is harvested for food in many areas of the North Atlantic, including Iceland, doesn’t look particularly impressive. It’s even used to top sushi on occasion, and doesn’t get a lot of attention. But it has the distinction of being one of the longest-lived animals. It’s hard to tell how old they grow to be on average, but at least one specimen was brought up from the deep that had lived for over 405 years. That is, until some biologist dredged it up into the air and tested its age, which was fatal. C’est la vie.

6. MRL Mouse

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You’ve seen the movies. Some scientists are working in a lab. Unbeknownst to them, mutations in the lab’s experimental animals have transformed some of the creatures, giving them strange new powers. And before the world is prepared, upon the unsuspecting population is unleashed… a little white mouse. The strain of white lab mouse known as Murphy Roth’s Large (or MRL) mouse was being used for routine scientific experimentation when it was discovered that this particular mouse had the ability to not only heal from injuries inflicted on it, but to regenerate. It was able to recover from injuries without any detectable scarring, and even to re-grow toes, tails, or even vital organs, including the heart, that were destroyed or removed. Could this indicate that science could someday use this mouse to allow injured humans to regenerate lost limbs and organs? Stay tuned. Big things may be on the way.

5. Pompeii Worm

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Unless you are a very lucky marine biologist, you are unlikely to ever see Alvinella pompejana, or the Pompeii worm, in person. That’s because this fanciful-looking tube-worm lives its life stuck around volcanic hydrothermal vents in deep ocean trenches. These little worms live in an environment that is incredibly hostile to life, and that goes beyond the water pressure that would easily crush you or me to death in seconds. Their lower end is usually resting (within their tubes) in water up to 176 degrees Fahrenheit, while their head end is often in water at a far more amenable 72 degrees Fahrenheit. This makes them the second most heat-tolerant of all complex animals. For the most heat tolerant, see number 3 on this list.

4. Deinococcus radiodurans

deinococcs-radiodurans

This tiny bacterium is little known to the general public, but is of great interest to the scientific community, which might explain why it’s sole name is pronounceable only by people who prefer biological taxonomy to inconsequential things like dating or hygiene. Although it is known for several interesting properties, including the ability to withstand heat and exposure to acids, it is named for its most astounding ability. It can survive doses of radiation that would kill virtually anything else on the planet. For comparison, a human will die after absorbing 10 Grays of radiation. D. radiodurans has been dosed with up to 15,000 Grays, and come through without being wiped out. Its ability to withstand radiation and repair its own DNA is being researched for use in medicine as well as use as a computer storage medium.

3. Water Bear

water-bear

The water bear, also called a tardigrade, is my nominee for the Toughest SOB You’ll Ever Lay Eyes On After Bruce Willis award. There are over a thousand species of this little eight-legged animal, and they have been found living literally everywhere on Earth. Some sadistic poking and prodding by scientists has revealed that these little action heroes can survive at temperatures of 303 degrees Fahrenheit at the top end (remember that water boils at 212 degrees), and at the lower end, have survived at only a few degrees above absolute zero. They can withstand pressures ranging from 6,000 atmospheres, which is not even found in the deepest oceans, to the vacuum of outer space. They have shown resistance to radiation that is unparalleled in the animal kingdom, allowing them to survive doses of radiation over a thousand times the intensity that it takes to kill a human (unless, of course, you are the previously-mentioned Bruce Willis). And they can be completely dehydrated and then come back to life after decades of being tiny mummies. It’s little wonder that these guys have been about for around 500 million years.

2. Archaea

archaea

The tiny bacteria-like organisms classified as archaea were only classified in the 1950’s, and then they were considered to be a group of relatively uncommon microorganisms that could be found in areas of extreme temperatures, acidity, salinity, or other unpleasant conditions. More recently, scientists have been able to use new biochemical technologies to show that, not only are they a totally separate form of life from the other kingdoms on Earth, but that they actually thrive in every environment on the planet. In fact, archaea can be found even down deep into the planet’s crust, everywhere that the ground is porous enough to allow anything to get there. They are so common, in fact, that they are now estimated to make up as much as one fifth of the mass of life on the Earth, and are a major and indispensable part of our ecosystem. Their strange qualities and the genetic differences between Archaea and the other forms of Earth life have caused some scientists to suggest that they may be the common ancestor of every living thing on our planet. Others go even further, with the theory that they aren’t even native to Earth, but were somehow transported here from another planet.

1. Mankind

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You had to know that we would make the list. Humans, or Homo sapiens sapiens, exists today in only a single species with a single variety. Presumably, we killed off the various other varieties and species of humanity that existed up to as little as ten thousand years ago. Of all the different species on the planet, not one has a more powerful ability to change its environment to adapt it to its needs. While other species use evolution to change and meet changing conditions, humanity decided that it had had enough of the whole evolution game, and started forcing the environment to change. We burn down forests to plant food, spread transportation networks across the entire planet, and even alter the atmosphere itself (although that’s not so much on purpose). Although we are a relatively large species with large food requirements, we are currently increasing our population at a rate formerly reserved for disease cultures. We’re not all bad, and I believe that we’ll figure out how to pull out of this nose-dive, but for now it looks like we’ve been voted Most Likely to Cause Armageddon.
Written by Glen Taylor

Top 10 Deadliest Gunslingers

Top 10 Deadliest Gunslingers

There’s no more iconic scene in Western movies than the good old-fashioned pistol duel, where the awman and the outlaw meet at high noon to see who’s faster on the draw. In actuality, this kind
ofhing very rarely occurred, and the true life Western stories—like Wild Bill Hickok being shot in the back while playing cards—tell a much more gruesome and less gallant tale. Still, there’s no denying that among the bandits and lawmen of the day there were a number of larger-than-life gunfighters whose exploits helped pave a bloody path for the characters that would later populate Western movies and dime novels. The following are ten of the most famous—and downright deadly—of these Old West gunslingers.

10. Ben Thompson

Ben Thompson
Ben Thompson was a gambler, gunfighter, and sometimes lawman who rubbed shoulders with some of the most famous figures of the Old West. He started his criminal career at the age of 17, when he stabbed and killed a fellow gambler whom he had accused of cheating him at cards. Thompson was known for being lightning fast on the draw, and gained a reputation as a gunfighter after killing two men in a shootout on Christmas Eve of 1876. Wanting to escape this reputation, he took a job as the City Marshall of Austin, Texas, but he was forced to resign when he killed a local theater owner named Jack Harris during an argument. Thompson was himself killed in 1884, along with gunfighter King Fisher, when friends of Harris ambushed the two and gunned them down while they were watching a performance at an opera house.

9. Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp
Famed lawman Wyatt Earp is perhaps the most storied figure of the Old West, but he was also an accomplished gunslinger who was greatly feared by the bandits of the time. Earp had a varied career that saw him travel to boomtowns like Wichita, Dodge City and the lawless town of Tombstone to serve as sheriff, and he participated in some of the most legendary gunfights of the 1800s. The most famous of these is undoubtedly the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, which occurred in 1881 when Earp, his brothers Morgan and Virgil, and friend Doc Holliday confronted a group of cowboys who had recently been arrested for robbing a stagecoach. Three of the cowboys were killed in the fight, and everyone except Wyatt was wounded. The gunfight caused a huge scandal, and friends of the cowboys soon retaliated, wounding Wyatt’s brother Virgil and killing Morgan. Earp and Holliday then led a team of gunfighters on what has become known as their “Vendetta Ride,” and they eventually killed several men connected with the murders before fleeing the territory. All told, Earp participated in numerous gunfights in his life, killing anywhere from 8 to 30 outlaws (depending on the source), and his exploits remain some of the most famous stories of the Old West.

8. King Fisher

John King Fisher
One the lesser-known but more notoriously violent gunslingers of the Old West was John King Fisher, who was in and out of prison from the age of sixteen. In the early 1870s, Fisher became known as a bandit when he started running with a group of outlaws who raided ranches in Mexico. Fisher was known both for his flamboyant style, which saw him wear brightly colored clothes and carry twin ivory-handled pistols, as well as for his propensity for violence. He famously gunned down three members of his own gang when a dispute arose of money, and then killed seven Mexican pistoleros shortly after that. In his most famous gunfight, Fisher is said to have taken on four Mexican cowboys single-handedly. After hitting one with a branding iron, he supposedly outdrew another and shot him. In his typical brutal style, he then shot two of the man’s unarmed accomplices. In 1884, Fisher was ambushed and killed, along with Ben Thompson, by friends of a man whom Thompson had previously killed in a gun battle.

7. Dallas Stoudenmire

Dallas
Although not as well known as someone like Wild Bill Hickok or Wyatt Earp, Dallas Stoudenmire was a feared lawman in his day, and is known for participating in more gunfights than most of his contemporaries. After being wounded several times while fighting in the Civil War, Stoudenmire moved to the lawless city of El Paso, Texas to serve as sheriff. Only three days into his tenure, he became involved in one of the West’s most legendary battles, what is common known as the “Four Dead in Five Seconds Gunfight,” in which he shot three men. A few days after the fight, friends of the men Stoudenmire had shot hired the town drunk to assassinate him. But Dallas was able to get the drop on him and supposedly shot the man eight times, killing him. This only marked the beginning of what would be a bloody campaign for Stoudenmire as sheriff. Less than a year after these incidents, he would kill as many as six more men in gunfights while in the line of duty, eventually gaining a reputation as one of the most feared lawmen in Texas. Stoudenmire’s luck would not last forever, though, and in 1882 he was killed when a discussion between he and a group of his enemies escalated into a gunfight in which he was shot three times.

6. Billy The Kid

Billy the Kid
Henry McCarty, a.k.a. William H. Bonney or just “Billy the Kid,” started his life of crime with petty theft and horse thievery, but is said to have first killed a man at the age of eighteen. In 1877, he was deputized during the so-called “Lincoln County War” and rode with lawmen who were seeking to arrest a group of corrupt businessman responsible for the murder of an innocent rancher. Billy’s group, called “the Regulators,” became known for their wanton violence, and were themselves soon regarded as outlaws. The group was unfazed by their new classification as bandits, and proceeded to go on a killing spree, gunning down three people in the course of just three days, including a sheriff and his deputy. The group was eventually broken up by law enforcement, but the Kid managed to elude capture. He formed a gang, and increased his notoriety after shooting down a gambler in a New Mexico saloon. After a number of run-ins with the law, the Kid was again captured and sentenced to death, but he managed to escape after he got a hold of a weapon and gunned down the two men guarding him. After three months on the run, he was killed when Sheriff Pat Garrett and two deputies shot him to death in 1881. All told, Billy the Kid is said to have killed a total of 21 men, one for each of the years of his life, though this number is often regarded as inaccurate and exaggerated.

5. Wild Bill Hickok

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One of the most legendary figures of the Old West, Wild Bill Hickok was an actor, gambler, lawman, and gunfighter who was regarded as one of the most skilled gunslingers of his day. Hickok got his start as a constable and rider for the Pony Express, but he gained a reputation for being handy with a gun after he killed outlaw David McCanles with a single bullet from 75 yards away. Hickok has the distinction of being one of the few gunfighters to ever participate in a real “Western-style” quick-draw duel, when he killed a man named Davis Tutt, Jr. over a dispute concerning gambling debts. In 1869, Hickok was elected sheriff of Ellis County Kansas, and is said to have killed two men in his first month on the job. Although many of his exploits are legendary, probably the most famous aspect of Wild Bill’s life is his death, which occurred in Deadwood, South Dakota in 1876. Hickok was playing poker when he was shot in the back of the head by a gambler named Jack McCall, supposedly in retaliation for a prior insult. Hickok was supposedly holding a pair of Aces and Eights at the time, a combination now known as the “Dead Man’s Hand.”

4. Clay Allison

Clay Allison
Known for his mercurial personality and violent temper, Clay Allison was a gunfighter who is remembered as one of the most notorious and downright deranged outlaws of the Old West. Allison fought for the Confederacy in the Civil War, but was discharged after a blow to the head started causing erratic behavior in him. It is this ailment that many historians have said explains his shockingly brutal actions, which included once beheading a man he suspected of murder and carrying the head into his favorite bar. After this, which cemented his reputation as one of the most murderous figures of his day, Allison went on to participate in a number of gunfights against fellow gunslingers. The most famous of these was against outlaw Chunk Colbert, whom Allison shot in the head when the other drew his gun on him following a meal they had shared. When asked why he had eaten with a man who wanted to kill him, Allison replied, “I wouldn’t want to send a man to hell on an empty stomach.” For a man who led such a dangerous lifestyle, Allison met a rather ironic and unimpressive death in 1887, when he fell off a wagon and broke his neck. His gravestone is said to read: ”Clay Allison. Gentleman. Gun Fighter. He never killed a man that did not need killing.”

3. Jim “Killer” Miller

'Killer' Jim Miller, far left, wearing black hat, hangs from a livery stable rafter after lynching in Ada, Oklahoma, 1909
'Killer' Jim Miller, far left, wearing black hat, hangs from a livery stable rafter after lynching in Ada, Oklahoma, 1909
One of the most downright murderous figures of the Old West, Jim “Killer” Miller was an assassin and gunfighter who is credited with killing at least 14 people, though legend has it that the number is somewhere closer to 50. One of the most famous stories about him involves a confrontation he had with a sheriff named Bud Frazer over Miller’s alleged involvement in the murder of a cattle rancher. Miller pulled his gun on Frazer, who proceeded to shoot him six times. Killer’s friends managed to escape with him, only to find that he had been wearing a metal plate under his shirt, which had blocked all of Frazer’s bullets. Two years later, Miller tracked the Sheriff down and killed him with a shotgun. Described as being cold to the core, Miller famously declared that he would kill anyone for money, and is rumored to have gunned down everyone from political figures to famed sheriff Pat Garrett. His days of bloodshed finally came to an end in 1909, when he was arrested for the murder of a U.S. Marshall.  After a mob of some forty people broke into the prison, Miller and three other outlaws were dragged to a nearby barn and lynched. In his typical maniacal fashion, prior to being hanged Miller is said to have shouted, “Let ‘er rip!” and voluntarily jumped off the box to his death.

2. Tom Horn

TomHorn1903
Tom Horn spent a good portion of his life legitimately employed both as a lawman and a detective, but in actuality he was one of the most cold-blooded killers of the Old West. In the 1880s, Horn made a name for himself as a scout and tracker, and was responsible for the arrest of many feared criminals. This caught the attention of the famed Pinkerton Detective Agency, and Horn worked for them for several years as a tracker and bounty hunter. Though known as being eerily cool under pressure, Horn was considered to have a dangerous capacity for violence, and in 1894 he was forced to resign his post as a detective after he became linked to the murders of 17 people. Following his resignation, he developed a reputation as a killer for hire, and is said to have been responsible for the deaths of some 20 cattle rustlers over the course of several years. Horn was finally caught and hanged in 1901 after being linked to the murder of a 14-year-old boy. Ironically, some modern historians have claimed that on this particular occasion Horn was actually innocent. Still, there is no denying that he was responsible for a great many other killings. Some historians have reasoned that he may have had a hand in as many as 50 murders.

1. John Wesley Hardin

John Wesley Hardin
In a relatively short life, famed outlaw and gunslinger John Wesley Hardin established himself as easily the most bloodthirsty figure of the Old West, and is credited with the deaths of no less than 42 people. The son of a Methodist preacher, Hardin displayed a capacity for violence early on in life when he stabbed a fellow student in the schoolyard at the age of 14. At 15, he gunned down an ex-slave, and then proceeded to kill three Union soldiers before going on the run. He was known for carrying two pistols in holsters strapped to his chest, which he claimed facilitated the quick draw, and he used them to gun down three more people in various gunfights soon after his flight. Hardin was eventually arrested at age 17 for the murder of a Texas City Marshal, but he was able to procure a gun while in jail, and when transferred he killed one of his guards and again went on the lam. Now a celebrated gunfighter, he made his way to Abilene and fell under the tutelage of Wild Bill Hickok. But Hardin was forced to flee the city soon after his arrival when he is said to shot and killed a fellow guest at his hotel because the man’s snoring was keeping him awake.  At 25, Hardin was finally arrested by a team of Texas Rangers, and eventually served a total of 16 years in prison before being released at the age of 41. Reformed form his years behind bars, Hardin began studying law and even passed the bar, but his old reputation eventually caught up with him. In 1895, he was killed after being shot in the back by a lawman in El Paso, Texas.

Top 10 Heists and Robberies

When it comes to the amount of sheer planning, creativity, and outright lunacy that goes into them, few crimes rival the high profile, multi-million dollar heist. And when you consider the colorful characters and criminal masterminds behind these robberies, it’s easy why these crimes continue to be the subject of constant speculation and fascination. Whether the work of teams of highly trained thieves, lowly bank managers, or even a powerful dictator, here are ten of the biggest and most bizarre heists and burglaries in history.

10. The Great Train Robbery

great-train-robbery-suspects

One of the most famed heists in popular culture, The Great Train Robbery was one of the biggest robberies of all time when it was committed in 1963. The heist took place in Buckinghamshire, England, when a mail train transporting millions of pounds was boarded by a team of 15 robbers. The thieves used a fake signal light to stop the train, and after subduing the workers inside the first two carriages, loaded 120 mail bags containing 2.6 million pounds into some cars they had hidden near the tracks. The men all escaped the scene, but 13 of them were quickly captured following an extensive investigation by Scotland Yard. Two of the these men, Ronnie Biggs and Charlie Wilson, would later escape from prison and flee the country. Wilson was caught four years later in Canada, but Biggs famously eluded capture by hiding out in Brazil, and he was only apprehended when he turned himself in to authorities in 2001.

9. The Agricultural Bank of China Robbery

CHINA-CRIME-OFFBEAT

2007’s Agricultural Bank of China Robbery resulted in the theft of 51 million yuan (roughly $7 million U.S.), and it is said to be the biggest robbery in China’s history. The scheme started when the bank’s manager, Ren Xiaofeng, stole 200,000 yuan from the vault. His unlikely plan was to use the money to buy massive amounts of lottery tickets in the hope of winning a cash prize and returning the money before it was reported missing. Amazingly, the plan worked, and Ren made a huge profit off of his gamble even after returning the 200K. After enlisting the help of another manager, Ma Xiangjing, Ren proceeded to steal nearly 33 million yuan a year or so later, and a month after that another 18 million. In both cases, the men spent nearly all the money on lottery tickets, but they were only able to recoup 98,000 yuan, and the missing money was quickly noticed and reported. Ren and Ma were eventually captured, but very little of the stolen money was ever recovered, thanks to the astronomical amounts the duo had spent on lotto tickets.

8. The Great Brinks Robbery

brinks-robbery

When it was committed in 1950, the $2.7 million Brinks Robbery in Boston, Mass. was the biggest heist in American history. Dubbed “the crime of the century,” the heist was the work of an 11-man gang who used copied keys to gain entry into the Brinks Building. Once inside, they made their way to a room where employees were counting money, and after subduing the armed guards, collected $1.2 million in cash, along with another $1.5 million in checks and securities. The gang’s plan had been to sit on the money for six years, at which point the statute of limitations for armed robbery would have run out, but a police investigation quickly started turning up suspects. After a few of the men were arrested, the criminals started turning on one another, even going so far as to hire hit men and attempt drive-by shootings on suspected snitches. Eventually, though, all eleven of the original robbers were found out and arrested, and many received life sentences in prison.

7. The Gardner Museum Art Heist

gardner-museum-art-heist

In the biggest art heist in history, two men dressed as police officers managed to con their way into the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum in Boston late one night in 1990. Once inside, the men overpowered the few guards on duty, tied them up, and left them in the basement. They then proceeded to steal several pieces of artwork by Rembrandt, Degas, Manet, and Vermeer, along with a few sculptures and historical artifacts. The total haul is now valued at $500 million, but both the thieves and the artwork have yet to be found. A number of possible suspects have been considered, from Boston crime boss James “Whitey” Bulger to the IRA, but no arrests have been made in connection to the case. Enough time has passed that the statute of limitations on the actual heist has passed, leaving the Gardner Museum art heist as one of the most successful and mysterious robberies of all time.

6. The Central Bank Of Iraq Heist

saddam-qusay

For sheer amount of currency stolen, no robbery compares to the Central Bank Of Iraq heist, which is said to have been perpetrated by none other than Saddam Hussein. The robbery happened just before the U.S. bombing of Iraq in 2003. In the middle of the night, a small group of men led by Hussein’s son, Qusay, went to the Central Bank with tractor-trailers and forcibly withdrew just under 1 billion dollars cash. Nearly $650 million of this was eventually found stashed in the walls of Hussein’s palace by U.S. soldiers. A handwritten note was later discovered linking Saddam and his son to the heist, but just who the other men involved were or what became of the remaining $350 million remains a mystery.

5. The Baker Street Burglary

The Baker Street burglary took place in London in 1971, when a team of well-equipped thieves tunneled into the Baker Street Bank and stole 3 million pounds worth of cash and valuables from safety deposit boxes. The criminals used a combination of metal cutting tools and explosives to tunnel to the vault from a nearby shop, and even had a lookout positioned on a nearby rooftop. Near the end of the heist, a ham radio operator overheard some of the lookout’s radio transmissions and contacted the police, who frantically searched over seven hundred banks within the area in hopes of honing in on the location of the transmission. They were unable to catch the robbers at the time, but nearly two years later a number of men were charged in connection with the robbery, though police believe the true mastermind behind the crime was never captured.

4. The Harry Winston Heist

heist-at-harrys

One of the most downright brazen robberies in recent memory, the Harry Winston Heist went down in 2008 when a group of four men stormed into one of Paris’s most exclusive jewelry stores and made off with $108 million in diamonds. The men were disguised as women and armed with a .357 Magnum and a hand grenade. They quickly herded the employees and customers into a corner and started breaking open display cases, and after filling a suitcase with precious stones, made their escape. No one from this robbery has been arrested, but police suspect that the robbers– whom they’ve nicknamed “The Pink Panthers”– are a part of a larger criminal organization of Yugoslavians that may have been responsible for a number of other high profile jewelry heists. In the meantime, a $1 million dollar reward is still up for grabs for any information leading to the arrest of the thieves.

3. The Knightsbridge Security Deposit Robbery

knightsbridge-robbery

One of the boldest and most successful robberies of all time, the Knightsbridge Security Deposit heist happened in London in 1987, when career criminal Valerio Viccei and a small group of accomplices armed with guns managed to make off with 60 million pounds in valuables and cash from safe deposit boxes. The thieves got into the vault by pretending to rent a safe deposit box of their own, and once inside they managed to overpower the employees and security guards and start breaking into the boxes. They escaped without incident, but a bit of blood left behind at the scene allowed police to trace the robbery back to Viccei, who was wanted for a huge amount of robberies in his native Italy. Viccei’s accomplices were quickly arrested, but he fled the country and for some time eluded capture. A known playboy and high roller, he was only arrested after he returned to England in an attempt to retrieve his prized Ferrari sports car.

2. The Banco Central Burglary

banco-central-burglary1

Considered to be among the biggest bank heists of all time, the Banco Central burglary took place in 2005 in Fortaleza, Brazil. The robbery was the result of painstaking planning by a small gang of burglars who tunneled over 250 feet to the bank’s vault from a nearby property. The robbers used a landscaping business as a front for their operation, an ingenious cover that allowed them to move massive amounts of dirt and rock out of the tunnel without looking suspicious. The tunnel itself was expertly constructed, and was said to have sophisticated lighting and even an air conditioning system. After three months of digging, the thieves finally broke into the vault and made off with over 165 million in Brazilian reals, or $70 million dollars U.S. Since then, police have made a number of arrests in connection with the burglary, and recovered roughly $9 million dollars of the haul, but the majority of the suspects are still at large.

1. The Antwerp Diamond Heist

antwerp

Antwerp, Belgium is one of the diamond capitals of the world, with 80 percent of the world’s diamonds passing through the city before being sold on the market. A number of heists have taken place there, most recently a still-unsolved $28 million robbery in 2007, but the biggest of them all took place in 2003, when a team of master criminals known as the School of Turin managed to walk away with $100 million in uncut diamonds from the Antwerp Diamond Center vault. For sheer scope, ingenuity, and risk, few robberies will ever measure up to this one. The criminals had been planning the heist for years, and using copied keys and faked security camera footage, they managed to bypass the vault’s multi-million dollar security system, which had been thought to be impenetrable. The thieves escaped without incident, but DNA left at the scene allowed them to be tracked to Italy, where most of the gang has since been captured. The $100 million in diamonds, meanwhile, seems to have disappeared for good.